I messed up, I made a mistake, and I lost you

Funny how things end up. You go from staying up all night with someone to being up all weekend because your mind is tormented by those memories. When we met, it was perfect. Never had I been so lucky before in my life. Our first night together could not have been made any more beautiful. Things only got better from there, the times that we shared had ups and downs, but we were so happy. Yet there was a flaw from the start, and it only cracked the whole thing apart in the end. I fucked up and broke your heart. I’m pretty good at that, not the first time I’ve let someone down. Now where are you? In someone else’s arms, I doubt you share my agony. I can’t seem to forgive myself for what I’ve done, what I’ve lost. Songs, smells, candlelight and memories, they either enrage me now or I burst into hysterical laughter instead of tears. I doubt crying would help me any. So I turn up the music and down another drink to your love and beauty, I’ll get over you eventually. For now though, I’m plagued by dreams, sleepless nights, and a fire in my gut. Call me pathetic, dramatic, weak, I don’t care. Every man has felt this for some woman sometime in their life, damned fools that we are. I only wish that I had not hurt you, and that circumstances had been better for us. I miss you darling, and I only hope you are happy where you are now.

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